Have you had “The Talk” with your Adult Children yet?

In many cases, children are both curious and concerned about your overall financial situation and want to know if there’s a financial plan in place. Who could blame them? They may feel responsible for protecting your financial wellbeing as you age. They want to gain some sense of what lies ahead and be well prepared for their potential involvement.

Perhaps the main reason you haven’t brought up the subject is believing you’ll have to reveal exactly how much money you have. Rest assured, communicating the actual amount isn’t necessary. Instead, prepare a list of your accounts and the corresponding companies or institutions where they’re located. The list serves as a blueprint to follow whether they play an informal role in protecting your financial wellbeing or a more formal one as Power of Attorney or Executor.

Another reason you may hesitate to discuss your finances with the kids is to avoid answering questions about the terms of your will or the division of your estate. If you have multiple children or stepchildren, you’re well aware that this discussion can prompt discord. But even if you anticipate animosity, you may be better off having the conversation sooner rather than later. Experience has taught me that it’s usually better to deal with the matter ahead of time by putting everything on the table now, fielding questions, and explaining the reasons for the decisions.

It can also be a smart idea to introduce adult children to your financial advisor before they take a more active role in your financial life or the settlement of your estate. Consider bringing your kids into the conversation during your annual review session. This will allow them to meet the advisor in person or via videoconference while they gain some familiarity with your financial plan. Building a trusted relationship between the parties now can enable them to do better work tomorrow and benefit you in the long run.

Consider naming your adult child as the trusted contact at the advisory firm. This won’t give them access to your personal information, but it can provide an added layer of protection if you begin to experience cognitive decline. Let me give you an example. A long-time client who was normally cautious about spending money directed me to transfer $1 million out of a qualified account without considering—or caring about— the tax consequences. The situation raised a red flag and precipitated a call to the trusted contact to suggest they check on their father. Thankfully, I had already met the adult child and he had faith in me. This is just one instance among many where intergenerational communication and trust have been important for the protection and preservation of a lifetime of savings.

If you haven’t already broached the subject of your financial affairs, then maybe it’s time to have that conversation with your children. Remember, it’s you who decides how much they should know and when they should know it. Decide just how much you’re comfortable revealing and control the narrative. It’s your money and you’re in the driver’s seat.

By Joel Johnson, Contributor